The Psychology of Friendship

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The Psychology of Friendship

Transcript Of The Psychology of Friendship

Tâh•› e Psychology of â•›Friendship

The Psychology of Friendship

Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. It furthers the University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of Oxford University
Press in the UK and certain other countries. Published in the United States of America by Oxford University Press 198 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10016, United States of America.
© Oxford University Press 2017 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of Oxford University Press, or as expressly permitted by law, by license, or under terms agreed with the appropriate reproduction rights organization. Inquiries concerning reproduction outside the scope of the above should be sent to the Rights Department, Oxford University Press, at the
address above. You must not circulate this work in any other form and you must impose this same condition on any acquirer. Library of Congress Cataloging-​in-​Publication Data Names: Hojjat, Mahzad, editor. | Moyer, Anne, editor. Title: The psychology of friendship / edited by Mahzad Hojjat, Anne Moyer. Description: Oxford ; New York : Oxford University Press, [2017] Identifiers: LCCN 2016014079 | ISBN 9780190222024 (jacketed hardcover : alk. paper) Subjects: LCSH: Friendship—Psychological aspects. Classification: LCC BF575.F66 P79 2017 | DDC 158.2/5—dc23 LC record available at
1 3 5 7 9 8 6 4 2 Printed by Sheridan Books, Inc., United States of America

Foreword â•… ix
William K. Rawlins
Contributorsâ•… xv Introduction: Psychological Aspects of Friendship Across the Life Span, Settings, and Relationshipsâ•… xix
Mahzad Hojjat and Anne Moyer
1. Friendship in Childhood and Adolescenceâ•… 3
Cynthia A. Erdley and Helen J. Day
2. Friendships in Young and Middle Adulthood: Normative Patterns and Personality Differencesâ•… 21
Cornelia Wrzus, Julia Zimmermann, Marcus Mund, and Franz J. Neyer
3. Interactive Motifs and Processes in Old Age Friendshipâ•… 39
Rebecca G. Adams, Julia Hahmann, and Rosemary Blieszner
4. The Hackneyed Notions of Adult “Same-âS•‰ ex” and “Opposite-âS•‰ ex” Friendshipsâ•… 59
Michael Monsour



5. Friendships Across Race, Ethnicity, and Sexual Orientation  75
Suzanna M. Rose and Michelle M. Hospital

6. Friendship and Social Media  93
Andrew M. Ledbetter

7. Friendship and Romance: A Need-​Fulfillment Perspective  109
Laura E. VanderDrift, Christopher R . Agnew, and Ezgi Besikci

8. Friendship Among Coworkers  123
R a c h e l L . M o r r i s o n a n d H e l e n a D. C o o p e r-​T h o m a s

9. Mentors as Friends  141
Laura Gail Lunsford

10. Animals as Friends: Social Psychological Implications of Human–​Pet Relationships  157
Allen R. McConnell, E. Paige Lloyd, and Tonya M. Buchanan

11. The Aftermath: Friendship After Romantic Relationship Termination  177
Eddie M. Clark, Priscilla Fernandez, Abigail L. Harris, Michelle Hasan, and Katheryn B. Votaw
12. Transgression, Forgiveness, and Revenge in Friendship  195
Mahzad Hojjat, Susan D. Boon, and Elizabeth B. Lozano
13. Competition in Friendship  213
David R . Hibbard and Gail E. Walton

14. Friendship and Health  233
J u l i a n n e H o lt-​L u n s ta d
15. Friendship and Mental Health Functioning  249
Alan R. King, Tiffany D. Russell, and Amy C. Veith



16. Maintaining Long-​Lasting Friendships  267
Debra L. Oswald

17. Conclusion: Friendship: An Echo, a Hurrah, and Other Reflections  283
Daniel Perlman

Index  301

Friendship is a commonplace notion, familiar to and cherished by people around the world and across history. The capacity for friendship is as fundamental to the human condition as are familial attachment; romantic, conjugal, and sexual loving; competition; and conflict (Brain, 1976). Since the time of Aristotle, friendship has been recognized as essential to the well-l​ived life. However, only in the last 35 years has markedly increased social scientific empirical work emerged addressing friendship as a distinctive category of human experience, cognitive and moral development, personal and social relationship, and communicative, associational, and political activity (Rawlins, 2009). Despite and perhaps because of its pervasive presence in human life, the word “friendship” references a vexing, intellectually captivating, continually evolving, and diversely apprehended array of phenomena. In this foreword, I point out why friendship is so vital yet elusive to study, and therefore why the present volume offers a worthwhile snapshot of this moment in the ever-​unfolding saga and study of human friendship.
The words “friend” and “friendship” are used to describe a gamut of human relationships—​ranging from long-​standing attachments of considerable affection and loyalty, to someone just met at a bar or sports event, to a purchased affiliation with a library, museum, or opera house. Further complicating matters, friendship is unique in its capacity to arise as a free-​standing relationship on its own terms between two persons, or as a sincerely lived dimension of other relationships, such as the friendship developed between siblings, spouses, parents and children, or coworkers. In these instances friendship is not a necessary part of the relationship; countless such bonds exist devoid of friendship. It is a negotiated attachment between persons that always reflects shared personal dispositions and material sociocultural possibilities. You cannot force or require friendship of any genuine emotional validity between people; and friendship may be restricted, prohibited, or even unthinkable in certain circumstances. Meanwhile, with the rapid proliferation of social media, the verb forms and related practices of “to friend” and “friending” someone have further